Nine and Six Halves Angry Former Contestants
by RedEyedWarrior
Summary: Chris and Chef are on trial for Staci's murder. Twelve former Total Drama contestants have been nominated to sit in the jury box. They have a difficult time reaching a unanimous decision, even after the evidence. Based on a Family Guy episode.
1. Chapter 1

**This story idea was suggested to me by I'll Cover Angel and Collins. This is based off of **_**12 and a Half Angry Men**_**, a **_**Family Guy**_** episode. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Total Drama**_**, or **_**Family Guy**_** for that matter. In fact, **_**Family Guy**_** is inappropriate enough without any of my influences.**

* * *

Bridgette and Geoff were making out on the couch in Geoff's sitting room while a show about ninjas and aliens at war with one another was on the telly; until the news suddenly came on.

"_We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news!"_ the presenter on the telly, a middle-aged man with male-pattern-baldness in a red suit, barked. Bridgette and Geoff stopped making out and turned to face the TV screen to find out what was going on.

"_Internationally famed host Chris McLean and co-host Chef Hatchet of Total Drama were arrested this afternoon in Toronto on suspicion of the killing of former Total Drama contestant Staci Mistvieh,"_ the presenter explained. _"Staci Mistvieh, aged 18, was found dead at Chris and Chef's one-bedroom apartment at 12.34pm today. She was stabbed several times in different places before she died of infection and blood loss. Eastern European reporter __Pieprzony Dupku is currenty at the scene. Over to you, Pieprzony!"_ he added.

The news cut to the scene recorded from Toronto where the reporter, Pieprzony Dupku, was hogging the screen. In the background, Chef and Chris, both of whom were suspiciously covered in bloodstains, were being shoved by police into the police van.

"_Dick,"_ said Pieprzony, a European-looking middle-aged man with short black hair in a white suit, "_I am currently standing in front of the van Chris and Chef are being shoved in to as we speak. Also, it's pissing out of the heavens right at this moment, so I'm being drenched because no one would hold up my umbrella for me. Jesus, you wouldn't believe what assholes people are these days. And I'm still waiting for my capicchino, but the person who I politely forced to get it for me is taking his time because, like everybody else, he's an asshole. All in all, this has been a very rotten afternoon and I hope that moron who is taking his time with my capicchino will join Chris and Chef in the van."_

"_Thanks Pieprzony,"_ said Dick the presenter, when the news cut back to him. "_In other news, the European Union has put Greece on Ebay. Canada is interested in auctioning..."_ Geoff turned off the telly and looked at Bridgette.

"Whoa, I can't believe Chris and Chef would do such a thing," said Geoff.

"I would," Bridgette replied. "This is the type of thing Chris and Chef would do without hesitation. In fact, considering that the victim was Staci, I'm not surprised that **anyone** has killed her."

"Good point," said Geoff. "After all, there's a chance Chris and Chef were framed for Staci's murder. Most of us find her to be annoying."

"We'll find out more about Staci's murder after the trial," Bridgette assured Geoff. After she said that, the house phone rang. Geoff picked it up from the coffee table in front of him and answered the call.

"Hello?" Geoff asked. "Oh... Sure. No problem... Uh-huh... Okay... We'll be there. Bridgette is with me. I'll just tell her the news... Will do, man. See you next Tuesday." Geoff pushed _end_ and placed the phone back on the coffee table. He turned to Bridgette and said: "That was the prosecutor. We're going to be part of the jury for Chris and Chef's trial. It's going to be held this Tuesady coming."

"Oh, okay," said Bridgette. "That's a few days away. We'd best be getting ready for it now. Who else will be on jury duty for the trial?" she asked.

"The prosecutor hasn't mentioned it yet," Geoff replied. "But she did say that twelve of the former Total Drama contestants will be in the jury box. The judge must really want Chris and Chef to be locked up, eh?"

"I'm not so sure about that," said Bridgette. "I hate Chris and Chef. I really do. Especially after…" Bridgette paused, because she did not want to mention what happened to her with Alejandro in Yukon. Geoff nodded. Bridgette continued. "But I don't think all of us would vote unreasonably just because of our past experiences with the show. The vote has to be unanimous."

"But who would really give a crap about Chris or Chef?" Geoff wondered. "**Especially** after all they've put us through?"

"Well, what if Chris and Chef are innocent, and that Staci was killed by some psychopath?" Bridgette asked.

"Good point," said Geoff. "But let's hope they did kill Staci so they could finally get their karma. And so that there would be proof that at least they have **something** good in them," Geoff added. Bridgette nodded in agreement. They decided to start getting prepared for jury duty, even though it was a few days away. Despite their constant make-out sessions, Geoff and Bridgette were very responsible people, even though Geoff was the party boy of the show and Bridgette was clumsy.

Furthermore, despite both of them believing in the right to life and being generally nice, humble people, neither Bridgette nor Geoff could care any less about Staci's death. Why would they? The bitch never shuts up.

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**Next chapter Bridgette and Geoff find out who the rest of their jury members are while they get ready for the trial. The prosecutor, the judge and Chris and Chef's lawyer will all be Total Drama characters, and so too will be all the witnesses. I could use some of my OCs (which I haven't used in ages) but I prefer not to, though you might – and I mean, MIGHT – see them while they are sitting in the viewing area.**

**As for Staci's surname, Mistvieh is the German for 'bitch'. Pieprzony Dupku is Polish for 'fucking asshole'. Apparently, this guy is living up to his name.**

**Sorry for bashing Staci's character a little too much. It's not just that she's my least favourite character on the show; it's also that I'm using the indifference of the characters to Staci's demise for humorous purposes. Speaking of which, if this chapter wasn't funny enough, I can promise you, next chapter will make you laugh harder. It should be up sometime this week.**

**I presume you all know why the title of this story is _Nine and Six Halves Angry Former Contestants_.**

**Until next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Loving all of the reviews so far. I can't believe the first chapter got twelve reviews! Anyway, I didn't know that episode of **_**Family Guy**_** is based off of a 1957 movie, **_**12 Angry Men**_**, until I read Snakeshark19's review. Thanks for the tip, Snakeshark19! I toss an internet banana to you! :D**

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The next day, Bridgette and Geoff showed up at the courtroom when it was suggested to them by the judge that they would benefit from practicing before the real trial begins. When the two showed up, they found out who else would be sitting in the jury bench with them. Also on the jury bench were Blaineley, Ezekiel, Gwen, Harold, Izzy, Lindsay, Noah, Scott, Sierra and Trent. The judge walked up to Bridgette and Geoff, revealing herself in the process.

"HEATHER?!" gasped Bridgette and Geoff in unison.

"You can address me as 'Your Honour', thank you very much!" Heather snapped.

"Sorry, Your Honour," Bridgette replied. "I wasn't expecting you to be a judge."

"Well guess what," Heather jeered, "I'm a judge. And just for that, you'd better hope that if I preside over your trials in the future, should you ever be on trial, you'd better pray that you are deemed not guilty. You wouldn't want to have your life cut short now would you?" she added, smirking.

"But Canada has already abolished the death penalty!" Harold protested. "Capital punishment has been defunct in this country since 1962! Curse your ignorance of the history of Canada's criminal and justice system! GOSH!"

"HAROLD! Don't make me come over there!" Heather threatened. Harold slumped down in his seat. Heather turned to face Geoff and Bridgette and said: "You may be seated at the jury box. And so that you two love birds can focus on the trial and not each other's private parts, everyone in the jury box will be seated in alphabetical order. Do I make myself clear?" she demanded. Geoff and Bridgette rolled their eyes and nodded, before walking over to the jury box and taking their places. Bridgette shuddered when she realised she was sitting next to Blaineley. Blaineley noticed this and said:

"Got a problem there, surfer girl?"

Bridgette gave Blaineley the finger. Heather watched this and smirked. She was proud of herself for how the arrangements she's made have turned out.

"Okay," Heather barked, "I have advised you guys to come here today so you can go over and do something about any personal prejudices that you may have. And before some of you idiots act like self-righteous retards, it is common sense that we all have some form of prejudice in our blood. So who would like to go first?" Heather asked.

Trent raised his hand. "Me, Your Honour!" he chirped. "I invest all of my prejudice against people whose age comes after a number that can be divided by nine, like nineteen, or – uh! – TEN!"

"You can't be serious," Heather groaned, rolling her eyes.

"I'm serious," Trent replied. "If Chris or Chef are ten, nineteen, twenty-eight, thirty-seven…"

"Trent, I doubt either Chris or Chef are any of those ages," Heather deadpanned. "In fact, why would they be any younger than thirty-seven even? They don't look young."

"Looks can be deceiving," Trent pointed out. "One minute they look like forty-five-year-olds, and the next minute they're forty-six! If that's the case, I'm voting guilty, regardless of whether they're innocent or not!"

"Well their ages won't be revealed during the trial, I can tell you that!" Heather snapped. "Anyone else?"

Noah raised his hand. "Your honour, I have an incurable and biased hatred against morons, imbeciles and idiots," he stated.

"Well good for you," Heather sneered, "but you are not going to be voting based on the intelligence, right?!"

"Of course not," Noah replied. "I may an asshole, but I do have morals. Still doesn't change the fact that I want to kill every single person on this planet who has an IQ below 70."

"Trust me Noah, stupid people would make good lackeys," Heather assured him, rolling her eyes. "Try taking advantage of them sometime. Anyway, is there anybody out there who's got any realistic prejudices? Like, bias against certain groups of people based on race, religion, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, disability, nationality, marital status, cultural background, linguistic background or class?"

Lindsay raised her hand. "Your Heather, I hate white people," she admitted. Everyone gave her perplexed looks.

"Care to explain why?" Heather asked, rolling her eyes.

"Sure," Lindsay replied. "I hate them because they are stuck-up, condescending, self-righteous, arrogant bigots who are at the fault of every bad thing on this planet."

"You do realise that you are white as well," Gwen pointed out.

"No, I'm peach," Lindsay corrected her. Then she withdrew her small make-up mirror to apply some lipstick, only to freak out.

"WHITE PERSON!" she shrieked, throwing the mirror away from her. Everyone else in the jury box face-palmed. Heather rolled her eyes and said:

"Just pretend that Chris is peach, okay?! Next!"

"I doon't like Americans, eh," said Ezekiel. "I also doon't like the Irish, eh. They've got American accents, eh."

"Zeke, as much as I'd hate to break this to ya, but as Canadians, our accents are closer to American accents than Irish accents," Scott sneered. "That means, by your logic, and the logic of ignorant Europeans, that you have an American accent."

Ezekiel frowned. "Noo I doon't, eh," he insisted.

"Well, Scott, I presume you don't like Europeans, am I right?" Heather questioned.

"Nope, just the ignorant ones," said Scott. "Besides, it doesn't matter what colour of skin is, what your religion is, what your sexuality or gender is, or how much money you've got, I just want everybody to know that I hate all of you."

"Amen to that," said Noah. He and Scott both realised that they were sitting right next to one another. They wrapped their arms around one another and proceeded to make out. It grew very intense.

Sierra sat back in her seat, dazed and aroused. There was a mark on her pants, where her crotch would be.

"Wow," said Sierra, drooling. Everyone gave her disgusted looks.

"Sierra, are you okay?" Gwen asked, looking very worried.

"I just came up with the best crack pairing ever," Sierra gasped.

"Whatever it is, it better not be me paired up with a guy," Noah deadpanned.

"Or me paired up with Dawn," Scott deadpanned.

"Sierra, this isn't the time for fan fiction," Heather snapped. "We now know that Noah and Scott are hateful bigots. We now have to know what group you are biased against."

Sierra sat up and quickly covered up her spot. "I… I'm not comfortable around… terrible singers. That's all."

"My bigotry is the same as Scott's and Noah's," said Blaineley.

"Izzy is racist against aliens," Izzy chirped. "I tell ya, when those foreigners come to Planet Earth, Izzy will find all of them, kidnap all of them and kill all of them. They will be like 'AAAAAAH' and Izzy will be shooting them with a gun and be going 'BOOM! BOOM! This is fun!'"

"One sure sign of intelligence elsewhere in this universe is that none of it lacks enough common sense to bother to contact us," Noah deadpanned, rolling his eyes at Izzy's prejudice.

"I don't like idiots," said Harold.

"Hypocrite," Noah murmured under his breath.

"Pro-Capitalist politicians," said Gwen.

"Agreed," said Bridgette. "I'm also biased against poachers, recreational hunters and other opponents of animal rights."

"I don't like religious clergy," Geoff admitted. "Their teachings on condoms and sex are bull."

"Right, so everyone is bigoted in some way," said Heather. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

"You better not use it to blackmail us," Gwen hissed.

"Please, I care more about my job than I do about you low-life weirdoes," Heather sneered. She clapped her hands and said: "This session has been dismissed. Piss off."

* * *

**So what did you guys think of this chapter? Next chapter will briefly feature the trial. The point where the jury go off into a private room to decide whether to vote **_**guilty**_** or **_**not guilty**_** will either start in the next chapter or in the fourth chapter. Either way, the voting will be several chapters long. I plan for this story to have lots of chapters in it.**

**Until next time!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for my two-week absence from this story. I was in a rush to get **_**Total Drama: Island Renewed**_** updated. Well, the third chapter is up, so better late than never, I guess. Also, I must warn you: I am not totally familiar with how trials are undertaken in Canada, though I do know that Canada, like the Republic of Ireland, is based on common law. So I assume both have similar procedures for managing trials. But still, I'm not a hundred percent familiar with Irish trials either. I'm more familiar with American trials, though not completely familiar, mostly due to the fact that I watch a lot of American TV. The US also has common law, so that chapter only required minimal research from Wikipedia.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

The big day arrived at last. The trial was in session. Blaineley, Bridgette, Ezekiel, Geoff, Gwen, Harold, Izzy, Lindsay, Noah, Scott, Sierra and Trent were sitting in alphabetical order in the jury box. The defendants, Chris and Chef, were nervously sitting in their chairs. Sitting between the two was their lawyer, Courtney. Courtney noticed Gwen and scowled. She decided to go up to the Goth chick and give out to her.

"YOU?!" Courtney scowled. "You got to be in the jury box?!"

"Well not on purpose!" Gwen scowled back. "However, I should be asking you why you are defending Chris and Chef?"

"Well duh, Courtney is defending Chris and Chef because she has feelings for Chris," Sierra interjected.

"Thank you, Sierra!" Courtney scowled. "But I'd like to correct you that I have no romantic feelings for Chris whatsoever! I'm only defending him and Chef because I firmly believe that everyone has a fundamental right to a fair trial."

"So basically what you're saying is; hypothetically speaking, if Duncan were accused of committing a crime, you would defend him, right?" Noah questioned.

"As if!" Courtney snorted. "I'd know that he committed the crime from the outset!"

"Know, or assume?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Up yours! You can't honestly expect me to be the next Atticus Finch!" Courtney snapped.

Scott snickered. "Oh, so for once you've admitted that you are not perfect?" he jeered. Courtney looked like she was about to tear Scott limb from limb before Gwen spoke up.

"Courtney, as much as I'd hate to be get under your skin and make a fool out of you in front of the prosecutor, but you do realise that the prosecutor is in the court room now, don't you?" she asked. Courtney wanted to literally beat the shit out of Gwen, but deep down she knew Gwen was right. She would never admit it, though. Not in a million years. The prosecutor sat at his desk, briefly going through his files for further analysis.

The prosecutor was Alejandro Burromuerto. He was in a de facto relationship with Heather, so obviously it raised serious doubts as to whether or not the trial would be fair. Alejandro's presence made Courtney rile up with rage. She remembered how Alejandro used to take advantage of her emotional distress after Duncan cheated on her with Gwen during Total Drama World Tour. Granted, Courtney could have handled the situation better by not trying to throw away the challenges, therefore looking like an easy target for manipulation for Alejandro Burromuerto. But still, Courtney was furious at how Alejandro used her like that.

Of course, because Alejandro was the prosecutor, he could employ Courtney's emotions against her and her clients. So Courtney kept her cool and sat down between Chris and Chef.

Heather entered the courtroom and claimed her position in the bench. The trial commenced when she ordered everyone to rise, and then sit down. Alejandro began to give his side of the story.

"On Wednesday, the 24th of July, 2013, at 12:34pm, Staci Mistvieh was found dead in Chris and Chef's one-bedroom apartment," Alejandro explained. "She was found lying in a pool of blood, and she had nine stab wounds all over her body-"

"Nine stab wounds?! Really?!" Trent excitedly interrupted, standing up from his seat. He turned to Chef and Chris and smiled. "Chris, Chef! If you guys are found guilty of the murder, I will pray to the Ninth God nine times that you saints will receive your reward nine times!"

"TRENT!" Heather shouted, banging her mallet repeatedly. "Sit down this instant! This is not the time to be acting the maggot!"

"Sorry," said Trent, slumping down on his chair. Then he muttered "Blasphemous bitch" under his breath.

Alejandro resumed the details of the crime. He articulated the events that occurred on the days leading up to her death. He also stated several points in favour of the argument that both Chris and Chef murdered Staci. Alejandro brought Chris up to the witness bench for questioning.

"Objection Your Honour!" Courtney shouted.

"Denied," Heather replied. "You may proceed, Mr Burromuerto," she added.

"Gracias, Your Honour," said Alejandro. He turned to face Chris and put on a stern face. "Mr McLean. Did you or did you not kill Ms Mistvieh on the night she was going to McDonalds?" he asked.

"Of course not!" Chris replied. "Why would I commit such I crime?! Do you even realise what they do to handsome people like me in prison?!" Alejandro opened his mouth to speak, but Chris continued.

"They'll shave off my perfect hair!" Chris wailed. "Everyone would keep begging to be me bitch and never let me have a moment's peace and quiet! Worse, the prison uniform will make me look fat!"

"Mr McLean, I'm afraid the possibility of your and Mr Hatchet having failed to consider these consequences prior to Staci's murder has not been ruled out," Alejandro deadpanned.

"Objection Your Honour!" Courtney shouted. "Chris and Chef have enough common sense to understand the consequences of murder and what are conventional occurrences within the penal systems!"

"Please, Ms Courtney," Alejandro dismissively stated. "If that were the case, then how come murders occur anyway? Perhaps Mr McLean and Mr Hatchet had been preparing for Staci's murder for quite some time. Perhaps not everything went according to plan. Perhaps, no offense intended, Mr McLean and Mr Hatchet lacked the foresight to thoroughly consider the consequences of their actions. If I may, Your Honour, I would like to bring Mr Hatchet to the witness bench for questioning."

"Objection Your Honour!" Courtney shouted.

"Denied," Heather replied. "You may proceed, Mr Burromuerto," she added.

Chris emerged from the questioning stand and went back to his seat. Chef rose from his seat and slowly made his way to the witness bench. Chef gave his side of the story. However, the cook was sweating profusely and he looked like he killed someone. Naturally, this got on the nerves of a certain dweeb.

"You're supposed to be calm and relaxed, and give on-the-spot answers!" Harold interjected. "Curse your inability to articulate an honest confession! GOSH!"

"HAROLD!" Heather shouted, banging her mallet repeatedly. "You are not permitted to speak without prior permission! If you correct someone again in my courtroom I will have you apprehended without hesitation!"

* * *

The trial went on for another hour or two. Many witnesses were called to the stand. Not all of them gave the same version of the story. Some versions were even riddled with contradictions. Some were just plain disturbing and completely unrelated to the case at hand. Some made it obvious what idiots some of the witnesses were.

In the end, it was time for the jury to make a decision. They all shuffled into a room to make the unanimous decision. Needless to say, the jurors were going to be in that room for a long time.

* * *

**Sorry if what happened in the courtroom is not exactly accurate as far as Canadian trials are concerned. As I've said, I'm not fully familiar with the way trials take place in Canada. Hell, I'm not fully familiar with law altogether? Why? Because I'm ignorant. Let's leave it at that and move on.**

**The voting begins next chapter. It will go on for a lot of chapters. Expect loads more crazies coming your way.**

**Until next time!**


	4. Chapter 4

**This fic should have been updated a while ago, not two weeks later. Oh well, it's up. Though some of you are back at school now, while some live in the southern hemisphere and were already in school, while others don't go to school anymore. Anyway, there is no point in me writing this disclaimer other than to write a disclaimer. I should probably stop now so that you can go on and read the rest of this chapter. I don't want to keep you guys from doing so. I don't want to *gets shoved out of the way*.**

* * *

Blaineley, Bridgette, Ezekiel, Geoff, Gwen, Harold, Izzy, Lindsay, Noah, Scott, Sierra and Trent shuffled into the room and took their places at their chairs.

"Okay, so before we can make a unanimous decision," said Noah, "we must-"

"Noah?" Trent asked, raising his hand. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Didn't give me a choice, did ya?" Noah rolled his eyes. "Go on."

"For the vote to count, how about only nine of us vote unanimously while three abstain," Trent suggested.

Noah rolled his eyes. "Gee, I didn't think of that. This just made this whole session nine times easier," he mused.

"Sweet!" Trent beamed. "The Ninth God will be proud of us!"

"He was being sarcastic, Fred Phelps," Scott sneered. "Aren't the followers of the Number Nine Religion supposed to be 99 percent familiar with sarcasm since there are nine letters in 'sarcastic'?"

"Of course not, because there are only **seven** letters in 'sarcasm'!" Trent scowled.

"Trent, all twelve jurors must vote unanimously!" Harold snarled. "Until we can all agree whether to deem Chris McLean and Chef Hatchet guilty or not guilty we must remain in this room! Curse your ignorance of Canada's legal system! IDIOT!"

"WHAT?!" shrieked Trent. He turned around to face Noah, glaring daggers at the bookworm.

"You lied to me!" Trent spat. "You lied through your twenty-seven teeth! Just when I thought we were going to be in here nine times shorter than I hoped!"

"Dude, I was being sarcastic," Noah pointed out. "And I have thirty-two teeth, thank you very much," he added.

"WHAT?!" shrieked Trent. "THIRTY-TWO! Pull five of them out! Do it now!"

"You can't be serious," Noah groaned.

"Oh, I'm serious alright!" Trent growled. "You have nine seconds to remove five of your teeth, or you will face the wrath of the Power of the Nine!"

"Okay, this is just getting ridiculous!" Blaineley groaned. "We are supposed to be focusing on the trial, not Noah's teeth! Now, with regards to the trial, I would like to deem Chris and Chef guilty. Any objections?" she asked. Gwen, Bridgette, Geoff, Noah, Harold, Izzy, Ezekiel, Sierra and Trent. Blaineley scowled at them.

"Why would you guys give them a chance?!" Blaineley demanded.

"If you put Chris and Chef together," Trent replied, "you'd get nine!"

"But don't you idiots remember what those two have done to us over the past six seasons?!" Blaineley growled.

"Oh I remember," Scott growled. "I remember how that cocky prick-dick Chris McLean allowed Fang into the Hurl of Shame with me! I was put in a fucking mechanical trauma chair for five fucking months!"

"So you're just going to let your emotions influence your decision?" Sierra asked.

"Don't you remember how he threw you out of the competition and left you to perish in the desert after you were injured from the explosion?!" Scott demanded.

"Yes, but what about Chef?" Gwen interjected. "He wasn't so cruel to you compared to Chris."

"I didn't see that powerless asshole stop Chris, did I?!" Scott hissed.

"Actually, if it weren't foor the RCMP, I wood've been in those mines foor the rest of me life, eh," Ezekiel confessed.

"There, see?" Blaineley emphasised. "Those two don't deserve any mercy whatsoever. We might as well just deem them guilty and go home. It would serve them right for all the shit they've put us through anyway."

"Actually, shouldn't they be tried for all they've put us through?" Bridgette asked. "Even if they were innocent, and we deemed them not guilty and let them off, Chris and Chef could still be tried for their crimes against us. This could most likely land them in prison for a long time."

"They could be charged for this," said Noah, "but the only problem is _Total Drama_ is worth 35% of Canada's entertainment industry. And because _Total Drama_ is censored outside of Canada, there is nothing the United Nations can do about it."

"Wasn't Chris responsible foor the vulcanoo erooption in Hawaii, eh?" Ezekiel wondered.

"Yes, and the eruption brought years of electricity to the state of Hawaii," Sierra groaned. "So the state forgave Chris."

"The Canadian public has seen the uncensored version," said Geoff, "why haven't they took action?"

"Geoff, do you honestly believe in the stereotype of us Canadians being nice 24/7?" Noah deadpanned. "Most people in this country would expect an apology from whoever they give a box to the nose to. It's the same as it is in every other country."

"Oh, be proud of your country, Noah!" Izzy chirped. "Canada will be the best country in the world when Izzy takes over!"

"How will starting World War III make Canada the best country in the world?" Noah sneered.

"YOU DON'T KNOW IZZY'S SECRETS!" Izzy snapped. Noah rolled his eyes.

"Guys," said Lindsay, "I am, like, so confused right now. Should I vote yes on the bill?"

"What bill?" Gwen asked.

"The bill that would make abortion legal in our country, silly?" Lindsay chirped.

"Abortion is already legal in Canada," Harold corrected Lindsay. "It has been legal in emergency circumstances since 1969 and upon request since 1988. Finally, we are not in the House of Commons. We are in the jurors' room debating whether to deem Chris and Chef guilty or not guilty of murdering Staci Mistvieh. How could you be such an idiot?"

"Because she is one, brainiac," sneered Blaineley. "What does it take to notice that?"

"Okay guys, we are getting way off topic," said Geoff.

"Aw, but Izzy is not interested in the trial," Izzy protested. "That is boring. Let's talk about abortion. That's not boring."

"It may not be boring, but it's controversial," Noah deadpanned, "and the topic is completely irrelevant to trial we are dealing with here."

"Is the number nine relevant?" Trent asked, hopefully.

"No Trent, it's not," Noah deadpanned.

"Aw," Trent sighed, sadly.

"Look, either way, it's still best that we go over the evidence once again," said Gwen. "Surely we're going to find something in favour of the argument that Chris and Chef murdered Staci."

"Will it also find something in favour of the argument that the Ninth God exists?" Trent asked, hopefully.

"No Trent, it won't," Gwen deadpanned.

"Exactly," said Trent, "because it is common sense that the Ninth God exists." Then he muttered: "It should be." Everyone rolled their eyes at Trent in annoyance.

Unfortunately for them, this was only the beginning of the vote.

* * *

**More insanity to come in the next chapter. I haven't fully planned on what to put in there, but you might be surprised by what you might do in the future, especially after you have done it. In fact, I'm actually surprised I updated today. Maybe I'll be surprised that I've updated before the end of the month.**

**Until next time!**


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